Give Me Jesus Cover

 

I’ve been working on getting this out for the past week, and with the help of my Mom, we got it out!  I’ve really been feeling a pull to start doing more music sharing my faith, and started with this song because it’s my favorite hymn.  It’s a lot of firsts for me:  I haven’t asked for help from my Mom to make a video in a long time, I haven’t just done a simple cover like this in a long time, and I haven’t been so open about my Christianity in ages.  I want to start doing so however, and I find that the way I profess my faith the best is through music.  I hope God blesses you in whatever you do, and have a great day!

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Becoming Bolder and Braver in my Beleifs

I’ve always had trouble  being a bold person.  Whenever I get to know   someone, I tell them I’m shy and they go “No you’re not” because once I get to know someone, I’m very talkative.  At first, I’m anything but – I have a hard time talking about things that aren’t directly in my line of interests, and am very much a small talk avoider.  This plays into my lack of confidence I think:  I feel like I have nothing interesting to say, so I just don’t say anything.  Or rather, why would anyone want to pay me any attention?  I’m not worth paying attention to.
Along those same lines, with the things I want to share, I have a hard time being up front about doing so.  I write blogs but rarely share the posts, and rarely comment or seek out other blogs because who would want to read my stuff anyway?  I sing and write music but I never ask for a collaboration because either the person will say no because I’m not worth the time of day or my music isn’t something I think is worth sharing.  I suck at marketing, because I don’t think anything I do is worth it.  I know none of this is true on the surface, but those darker thoughts always plague  me and it’s an ongoing battle for me.

 

I’ve gone through so many phases of my life thinking something about myself isn’t worth sharing.  I went back and forth about talking about being blind openly on the internet for years before actually doing so – I had known a group of friends for a year before actually telling them I was blind and they asked me “Why didn’t you tell me?” my answer was “I was afraid of what you’d think”.  I’ve just always been that sort of person who has been more meek, but with what I’m about to talk about, I don’t want to be that way anymore.

 

I’m a Christian, and recently I’ve felt a pull to speak out more about my faith.  I’ve been praying, and thinking of all of the different ways I can reach people with my different talents, but that’s not really what I wanted to talk about right now.  It just always bothers me that people can openly bash a religion, specifically Christianity, but when a Christian stands up for their faith, the person who started bashing Christianity takes offense.  It’s that sort of closed mindedness underneath the guise of open mindedness that always frustrates me, and is part of why I want to get bolder in speaking out about my faith.  It doesn’t even have to be somewhere where a Christian thing is being discussed:  I literally was in a chat room where online Yugioh duels were taking place, and after the duel someone just randomly started talking about Christianity in a not nice light.  I know everyone isn’t a Christian, but is it just me or is it super random to just see that sort of thing thrown around about Christianity? If it were done towards any other religion people would have a cow over it, but for some reason doing it to Christians has recently gotten ok to a mass amount of secular people, and I’m honestly not willing to just meekly bow out of conversations about it anymore.

 

 

If someone decides to call Christianity out, I’m going to start being bold about it and replying back to them in turn.  I don’t think it’s right for people to be insulting my beliefs as casually as I see it happening on the internet.  I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe in God and the Bible, and I’m going to find ways to integrate that into my everyday life.  I’ve been praying about being bolder, and serving God to my fullest potential, and am going to take so many strides to doing so from now on.  God has given me so much, the least I can do is stand up openly for him and declare my faith in any way I can.

 

This blog has always been my personal lifestyle blog, and I’m going to start posting, along with my other posts, posts about my religious journey.  It helps me to filter out my thoughts this way, and it’s a start to being bolder about my faith.  If I don’t do this, I know I’ll always be afraid to be bold in any aspect of my life, and honestly I’m rather tired of that aspect of myself holding me back.  It’s hard to fight through fear, but I’m going to do so and post this, and continue to post about my love for God and Jesus Christ wherever I can, because I feel it’s what I should be doing.

 

The posts this week have been rather heavy, I know, but these are the things that have been on my mind as of late.  Blogging is really the best outlet for me to get my feelings out, and even just writing this on the word document I draft my posts out first is making me feel better and braver, so I’m honestly really excited to start writing more about Christianity and my beliefs, and being more open in general!

 

People will always be afraid to do something:  I know this from personal experience.  But it’s not the inability to be afraid you should be trying to master, but the ability to fight through your fears to do what you truly want to do that keeps us going as people.  I’m going to fight through my fears of being judged by people, and be braver, and bolder in my life, and my faith!

Stay Safe, Everybody

I’ve been watching Hurricane Harvey footage all week and it’s hard to think of blogging about something else when this is weighing so heavily on my heart.  This disaster, more than any other, is just so hard and painful to watch because of the amount of people effected.  Thank God I’m not anywhere near the hurricane sight, but the urge to do something to help people is over whelming for me.  Maybe it’s because I’m older and wiser or something, but this event in particular is effecting me so much more than any other disaster that’s happened in my lifetime.
I just wanted to write this post saying the footage is both heart breaking and moving.  Strangers are helping each other, both trained and untrained volunteer’s  are rescuing those effected, people are raising money, getting food, and clothing, for those in shelters, and it’s truly shown me that God still has a hand and on his people, and is sending his own to help out in these troubled times.

 

The damage is horrible, but it could be worse.  The amount of people willing to help is a testament to how resilient Texans are, to how good those who follow Jesus Christ are.  It makes me want to help in any way that I can.

 

 

If you’re in the affected areas, stay safe.  If you’re not and want to help, there are so many places you can donate money to – the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, a lot of Go Fund Me Campaigns are out there to give to those in need.  If you can’t give money, pray for the safety of those effected, and those who are still out there fighting to keep people safe.  The rain seems  to be clearing up now, but the worst isn’t over for them yet.  They still have to rebuild after this, and God willing they’ll bounce back, even stronger than before.
Stay safe out there everybody, wherever you are.  I’ll be praying for you!

Bubbly Clouds Kirby cover

Bubbly Clouds Cover [Kirby Series] – YouTube

 

I’m knee deep in teaching myself renpy/python coding in which I mean I have just barely gotten down making 2 types of menu choices and am now reading up on making variables in python when it’s still pretty intimidating to me, but ‘tis the way of things when you’re used to teaching yourself things.  I’m so used to the initial struggle of the learning curve that I’m just saying to myself “You’re going to be able to look back on this one day and say man, I can’t believe I struggled with doing that, it’s so easy now”.

 

But those are musings for another blog.  For this one, I continue Kirby month with a cover of Bubbly Clouds!

 

I say “continue” but this is going to be the last cover for the month.  I was hoping to do one a week for Kirby cuz I love him so much, but the other two covers I wanted to do I wanted to put more time into arranging because I have a lot of ideas for them.  I love this and Green Greens, but they’re both pretty simple in terms of my usual arrangements as of late.  Not a bad thing, but the other two I just really wanted to be a bit more…artistic than these two, as hipster as that sounds haha.  I don’t really have much to say about this one, it was a lot of fun to put together!  Not gonna lie:  I love how cute my upbeat Kirby covers sound, and this one really captures the floating bubbly feeling Bubbly Clouds gives me.  I feel like I can’t do a Kirby cover that doesn’t sound cute, they just come out that way XD

 

Finally got to use my shakers in something, so that was nice!  My musical style uses really scarce percussion usually so whenever I try to add shakers to something, they just never fit.  This was the first time I recorded them and said “Yeah, this sounds like it fits in here” so I was like woooo I finally get to use these things I purchased months ago lol.  Using the claves for that click clack bubble pop sound was super fun, too!  And a lot easier than trying to do it with my tongue clicking noise, that was a heralding experience.

 
Happy Birthday Kirby, you’re amazing and cute and I love yoooou!  Now back to my learning code cave~

Cover vs Original Music Composition Observations

The difference between making an original piece of music and making a piece of music form pre-existing has just hit me and it’s so interesting.  With original music, you’re free to make your own thing, not feeling pressured to “Stick to the original version” because you’re making something from scratch.  With a cover, you’re making something from scratch in a way but also not really.  If you want it to be your own spin on a cover, and not just you covering a song verbatim (I consider this more arranging when you add your own spin on it).  I think making a cover your own is definitely a puzzle in itself, trying to figure out what pieces of the original piece you want to keep the same, if any, and what you want to make different.  Do you want to make an upbeat song somber and orchestral?  Want to make a sad song or emotional piece rock?  Then you have to listen to the original track, picking the piece apart for parts of the song you want to use, and parts you want to make your own.  Want to just make the entire thing you own?  Well then, that’s a whoel different animal!  Time to start playing different musical ideas until you find ones that fit the tone your going for.

 

I find I hit road bumps whenever I want to change something a lot.  With that battle theme I altered I mentioned a while ago (I still need to post that) it was upbeat and high energy, and I wanted to completely shift that to something haunting and somber.  So taking chord progressions that fit that tone from the original was really interesting because I had to fit my concepts of how I wanted the track to be with the basic melody structure of the piece.  In the end, I got something that sounds completely different from the original, that is definitely something my own while still sounding like it’s that track because of me using aspect of the original track to form that idea.    And I hope that made at least a teeny bit of sense XD

 

But I’m hitting the same road blocks with this new cover I’m working on I did with that one, and even though it’s frustrating, at the same time I’m like “Well the more I struggle with this, the more I make it my own and it will get easier with time”.  I don’t want to rush it, but I think I’m finally forming an idea of how I want this to sound.  At first, I really wanted to use an iconic chord progression in the track, but got some good advice from a friend when I asked if it would matter to leave it in or out.  The basic progression will be there unless you drastically change the initial melody of the track, so don’t really worry about it.  I found something close to the chord progression that I will probably use for my version of the song, and am heavily taking inspiration form Laura Shigihara’s version of the track as well (which is also really different to the original but still sounds like it’s that song) so like I said, won’t worry about it.
I had a lot of these musings while trying to hash out getting this track down, and have found some interesting work arounds to trying to figure out how to write a track!  Breaking down the original version by listening to each track of it individually is something I figured out I didn’t know you could do just by importing midi to reaper, so that was cool!  Now I have a new way to learn parts of songs, and come up with ideas for stuff.

 

Really just wanted to share my findings with this whole thing and my thoughts on the subject.  If you have any, would love to hear in the comments!

Lesson Learned from a Seemingly Small Statement

I went to record some video today for a collab quickly because my computer cord is starting  to do a weird finicky  thing where it has to be positioned a certain way to be charging.  Because of that, I’ve been keeping it plugged in at all times because last time that happened, my cord died and I was without a computer for a few months.  I’m prepared this time, though!  Already backed everything up, and getting anything due to people done asap so I can not worry too much if the cord does die before the new one I ordered comes in.  It’s not being super intense with its amount of plugging in and out, like it stays plugged in and charging well but sometimes it does go in and out, in and out, so I’m taking extra precautions.  At the same time, I’m not sure if it’s just wiggling out slightly because sometimes when I position it and then move it around it just stays fine, but like I said better safe than sorry.  It happened to me once, I won’t’ be caught unawares again!  I’ve only had this computer for about three years, and am not sure of the lifespan of new computers but I feel like this one is getting a little worn out with all I do on it with such little ram.  But only thing I’ve ever needed to do is replace the cord, so I’m assuming what’s happening is a cord issue again (it’s a ten dollar off brand cord so I’m guessing it’s life  span isn’t as long as the Acer cord that died end of last year).  I’d like to get the Acer brand cord for this computer, but navigating the site is so freaking confusing I sort of gave up lol.

Because of that, I sort of didn’t really care about my appearance in the video.  I mean, I made sure I didn’t’ look hideous or anything, but I didn’t wear makeup at all.  I’m still a little self-conscious  about doing something like that, so when my Mom went in and positioned my camera to record, I asked her if I look fine without makeup.  Specifically I asked, “Do I need concealer?”

 

She went “Well yeah, you know you have dark circles under your eyes.  But you either put on concealer, or you don’t care about it”.
and that statement super hit me in a way it hasn’t.
Because I’m always so obsessed with how a video looks, how I look, how my music sounds, how interesting my videos are, that something as simple as “Yeah, whatever, I’m comfortable looking like this in this video” has never hit me.  I know she didn’t mean it like that and was just stating a fact, but hearing it and going “Yeah, she’s right!  If I want to hide that part of my face then do it.  But if you’re not going to, then also don’t’ sweat over it because it’s just a part of your facial features and people can deal with it because this is how I want to record my video”.

 

It was a weird moment, and possibly not the best choice for a collab video, but honestly it felt good to just make that decision and go with it.  I finished the video with only lip gloss on, and got it to my collaborator.  And just doing that honestly made me not stress about the video quality, because it was just me sitting there and being chill.  I’m debating vlogging, and knowing that I’m alright with doing something like that now makes me feel like I’d be more comfortable vlogging, as well.  Because I never mind when I’m recording video, but the preparation for recording said video, putting on a face of makeup and all of that is what always makes me second guess recording.  But now, I’m realizing something I realized a long time ago with my music:  Do whatever you want, own your decision, and roll with it!  It’s so weird to  be relearning these things, but at the same time I’m learning it in a different way so it sticks more.  Being less self-conscious is  an eternal struggle for me, so realizing that with such a small statement from my Mom was a big eye opener.

 

I’ve been tossing around the idea of vlogging with my brother, but haven’t really figured out what I’d vlog about.  Would I post it on the same channel as my music?  Would that be a problem?  Maybe make a second channel?  Plus when I sit down and talk in front of a camera, it’s always so awkward for me haha.  I’m fine with podcasting, but for some reason on camera I’m like ugh this suuuucks.  So if you have any ideas, or tips on vlogging, post them in the comments!

Not Much to say so time to grumble grumble

Nothing like trying to schedule a post on your other blog for like 30 minutes only to think you’ve done it then check and nope it’s just published with the time stamp of tomorrow~  I hate wordpresses scheduling feature, it’s the worst and have never been able to figure it out in its new format.  I miss the just type in day and time thing it used to have before it made all these dumb changes.
But anyway, today is hot.  Yesterday was hot, like I don’t have AC and it’s hell on earth hot.  All I can really do is sit around, try to stay cool and hydrated until 7 PM rolls around because that’s when it’s freaking sundown here right now.  I thought I lived in California, not Arizona!!  It’s so hot that just having my laptop on my lap is making me want to die ugh.  I need somewhere else to put it on hot days like these.  To top it all off, got some virus that’s making it painful to open my mouth, therefore can’t sing (or eat much which is frustrating) and I just want it to be gone so I can have more than yogurt and smoothies and I want this heat to be gone so I can do things during the day that aren’t just trying not to burn up.

 

So yeah, not much to say, more of a rambling post than anything but will get back to regularly scheduled programming next week probs.  How are yoooou?