When I was recording last night, I noticed something interesting. When I was singing and listening to myself, I heard a certain note as off pitch. But, when I listened back to the recording, the note I thought was off pitch wasn’t at all off pitch, but it was on pitch just fine. I noticed this overall with songs I record, and thought it was super interesting – like, why is my brain so hyper-sensitive to my pitch in particular? And why when I listened back, was it sounding fine?
When I thought back to songs I’ve covered, and insecurities I have about my voice, I realized that this was a chronic issue. I have never found my higher, operatic sounding head voice to be anything but shrill and annoying. When other people hear it, they say it’s fine. I am not a huge fan of my vibrato either, before listening back – but when I listen back to it recorded, it sounds alright, instead of the icky unsupported mess I think it is when I am producing it and listening to it simultaneously. I know that your brain perceives your speech, and your voice as something different, but for me to have such an adverse feeling towards certain sections of my voice was just…really odd to me. This year, I’ve been trying to get over those certain vocal insecurities – and I think, so far it’s been working. I hope one day I’ll be able to get rid of them entirely, but for now I guess I’ll have to deal with thinking it’s icky until I listen to my voice post-mix, or post-recording.