Putting Off Something for Some Dumb Arbitrary Reason

I almost forgot to post again today because of being busy with other things, but I remembered!  And am posting about something I was doing today, so win win~


I’ve been working on a collaboration with a YouTuber for an album – they needed some vocals on a cover for an album we’re both a part of, and I said I could help.  Before we even got into the details of the arrangement, he asked me if I could record myself singing, because he noticed I don’t do those sorts of videos, and he does.  I said, “Sure!” because I not only really wanted to collab, but I figured it would stop me from putting off actually working on video quality, and make me work on recording myself for not only this collaboration, but my future videos.  I got a camera in March, and my stupid anxieties have stopped me from actually, you know, using said camera.  I use it for jewelry pictures, but that wasn’t the intention of getting the camera:  I wanted to record myself singing, for more interactive videos, and for vlogging.


I always told myself “I need better lighting!  So I can’t record” and went on a lighting hunt a few months back.  Once again, a really stupid excuse, that I unfortunately held onto because I wasn’t tackling my actual problem:  fear of capturing myself on camera for YouTube videos.  If I have someone relying on me to put my best foot forward, I am more apt to do something for them, as opposed to doing it for myself.  It’s a really bad habit, I know, but it’s sort of just how I operate and I sort of need to get over it XD but that back story aside, I feel like an idiot.
After all of my I need better lighting, this camera sucks blah blah excuses and doubts I put into my head, I shot some test video last night before I record for this collab.  And guess what I found out after showing the test footage to friends?


My setup is fine!  I didn’t need anything extra really.  I got some tips about turning on my rooms light (I had it off and was just using some Christmas lights and my laptop monitor) and, using my laptop monitor as the light source in front of my face.  I was in frame, and everything looked fine:  and all I needed was things I already had in my house, the HD webcam not withstanding.


I’m so annoyed with myself for putting off doing this, like what was I even hiding from?  Sure, it won’t be some awesome, thousands of dollars setup, but it’s enough to get me started, and ugh I’m just soooo annoyed that I’ve been holding myself back for a reason I can’t even think of.  Fear of failure?  Fear of looking stupid on camera?  I honestly have no clue, and I don’t want to hide anymore when shooting video was so simple in the first place.
Like I said earlier:  I did this collaboration just for this purpose.  I knew that if I had someone else to be accountable to, I’d get off my butt and do what I needed to do to get the quality I wanted.  Also like I said earlier, I’m really frustrated I had waited on testing this for so many months, but I guess better late than never!  It’s a good lesson for me to not put things off just because of fear, and a lesson I have to keep on re-teaching myself over, and over, and over again…
But, on the bright side, I know it’s easy to set up for recording video now, so woo!  I’ll definitely be re-vamping my video style now that I know this, and hopefully I’ll do it sooner rather than later!


Author: Crystal

A California based musician who is as passionate about music as she is video games,, Crystal (or ValkyrieCeles around the interwebs) loves to gush about her various nerdtastic loves, rant about anything currently catching her fancy, and generally just express herself in any creative outlet she can get her hands on. An avid reader, writer, and dreamer, Crystal has been leaving pieces of herself around the internet since 2006.

3 thoughts on “Putting Off Something for Some Dumb Arbitrary Reason”

  1. I definitely agree with the better late than never mentality. At least you’re doing it now, and that’s a good thing.

    A lot of people, myself included, are afraid of being in photos or videos. I don’t feel like I should be afraid of being judged on appearance, but I’ve avoided it all the same. It’s a common quirk among introverts, I think.

    Once you get into the hang of it, I’m sure you’ll be making videos like pro.


    1. Oh, I’m glad I’m not alone then! Yeah I definitely think it’s an introvert thing because even though I have figured that part out I still keep on second guessing and being anxious about actually filming non test footage, but I’ll just keep powering through and see what I get XD


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