Ugh

So I wasn’t even planning on posting today because I’m freaking exhausted from all the crap I had to do dealing with posting on soundrop for the very first time.  Soundrop is a music distribution site, that was formed from CD Baby and Loudr and I honestly wish it had stayed Loudr because it took like four people for me to get my freaking track uploaded and then after all of that it charged my credit card with the cover licensing fee when I didn’t click on it (the page froze and I closed it, opened email and saw a receet).  I already emailed them asking them how the heck to upload my track because they have some dumb thing where you can choose to upload a track or upload an album and if you upload a track you can’t go through the steps to release it.  Did anywhere on soundrop say that?  Nope.  Nothing in the FAQ, no step by step guide and I should have just waited until tomorrow to finish up because I did the stupid section where you had to pay late at night and this day has been annoying.

 

Like I said, their sites interface sucks for a screen reader.  There’s nothing telling you how to upload so for the first time you’re just kind of…stuck figuring it out yourself.  I’ve seen major complaints about Soundrop not paying and stuff, but it’s basically the only inexpensive  music distribution site so you’re stuck with it if you want to sell on iTunes, Amazon etc etc.

Oh and did I mention?  I have no clue if the first time I did the distributing took, and it’s just going to send  my track to iTunes or if it’s going to send to every distributor like I did the second go.  Not sure what the price will be either (but it had defaults, where it said 1 track was 99 cents so fingers crossed it’s that) but also fingers crossed they get back to me so we can sort this all out.

 

I’m going to use Soundrop again, but not because I want to:  because it’s the only cheap option and it pisses me off hardcore.  I’ll have an easier time uploading next time, so that’s something but…ugh, so annoyed.  I’m off the relax.

 

Sorry for this negative post, I’ll be in a better mood on Tuesday!

Time for a Venting Session!

I’ve been so tired lately it’s annoying. And really not in the mood to do many YouTube-y things.  Well, not exactly that, but my audio quality has been annoying me because I have white noise I hear in recordings and I’ve been pulling my hair out trying to get it off ugh.  It doesn’t help that I want to license the thing with the loud white noise, but at this point I’m probably just gonna release it anyways because I’ve already tried re-recording the vocal and no luck.  The noise isn’t as loud, but it’s still there so…yeah, really not happy about that T_T I’m trying to just release things and not obsess about them being perfect, but this is bothering me so much!  I got some trouble shooting tips from people so I’ll try those for my next cover, but sooo frustrating.

 

Speaking of frustrating, I ordered an ocarina!  On Thursday.  They didn’t’ mail it out until this morning (and only after I emailed them) so I’m really upset at the company because I needed to get it tomorrow.  So now, I either have to wait an extra week, or have it sitting at a PO box until I go back which probably will not be for at least a month.  I ordered it last week so it would be here by tomorrow, that was plenty of time!  I know the ocarina gets good reviews, but I’m definitely going to leave a review about how wonky their customer service was.  Not only did they wait to ship it out this morning, but they didn’t even respond to my email inquiry.  I emailed them asking why my item hadn’t been shipped yet, and instead of replying with “Oh, sorry, we can refund your money if you needed it by tomorrow” they just…shipped it without even replying, like they didn’t even know I had ordered an ocarina from their Amazon store.  If I had gotten a reply, I would have probably canceled the order and ordered it later, because I really wanted the ocarina this week so I could implement it in covers.  Now, I have the choice of waiting a week to travel to my PO Box, or wait a few months to get it and not be able to use it in covers -_- really upset with this company.  They’re one of the big ocarina companies, so their lack of customer service is really frustrating and I doubt I’ll order from them again.  But what’s done is done, I suppose.

 

And what gets me about them too, is they didn’t even ship it with express shipping after such a long delay!  Like you should at least do that company, come on.  Raaaage!

 

 

 

I think I may add a few options to the types of videos I’d be doing covers with too, because ugh I’m still not feeling recording for this particular cover and I still can’t put my finger on why.  I have to record video for a collab this weekend, so I may just do it then.  Maybe it’s just because I’ve been feeling bleh lately.  Like I don’t really want to go on camera for the collab but I’m going to out of necessity.  I really need a backup for my covers/arrangements when I’m in a mood like this and just don’t want to be on camera, which probably will be still custom art, or stock footage/animations.  So for covers and originals I’ll have both those options available (though still don’t know how I feel about using a still photo for an arrangement, even if it is custom art lol).  I also want to use game footage for covers too, that would be really fun and another option I’ve thrown on for any cover I do.  I hate that I’m still conflicted about this, it’s not that big a deal and I need to stop stressing about it!
That was a good venting session I needed lol.  Hoping I’ll make a decision with my video styles soon, because I’m getting really annoyed with how stagnant my uploading schedule has been because of something this dumb and probably so inconsequential.  But in my typical way, time to over analyze and over stress about it for no reason~

Writing Down Negative Thoughts

I’ve been so tempted to just tweet or post on Facebook about this, but one of my major pet peeves is people who tend to vaguebook or vague tweet and I didn’t want to come off as being whiny on any of those pages.  Since writing things down long form always helps me decompress my feelings, however, I will vent on here as I usually do!  Well, not really venting, but let’s just get into it.

 

For me, when I reach one milestone, it’s like all of these negative thoughts just pop in that are new and foreign, and my old negative thoughts are still slightly there, but barely out of reach.  It’s so frustrating, and I wish I could just beat them away, but I think acknowledging them is a far better way to go about it then just suppressing them.
Now that I have a keyboard, and have been arranging and posting things on piano, my brain keeps on whispering things like “Well, sure you’re arranging stuff now, but you could be doing so much better.  Piano is only one instrument, after all, you should be using more instruments like drums and guitar or else what you’re making is lack luster crap that isn’t really music”.  A part of me finds that ridiculous:  I’ve seen tons of people just use one instrument on their covers and songs, and when they need other instruments they ask for help from other people.  But, for some reason, my brain just keeps on going “Nope, that isn’t good enough, buy more instruments!”  In which, I have and still haven’t used them.  Like, I bought a hand drum, which I plan to use but haven’t yet.  Got a recorder, which I have no clue how to add to songs because of the key it’s in.  Shakers and tambourine are fine, sure, but still I don’t really use them because when it boils down to it, I listen back to my arrangements, and like how simplistic just using piano and my voice sounds.  I came to the realization a while ago that that is just my composing style:  I like using 3 or less instruments, usually I’ve found I just use two and my voice.  Does it sound bad to me?  Not at all:  I really like the end result, but still in my head I go “It isn’t good enough, more more more!” no matter how much people say they like it, no matter how much I tell myself that’s just my style, my mind keeps on saying I need more instruments, because apparently  in my warped negative thinking more instrument’s=the arrangement being better?  (which logically, I know is bull ugh).

 

 

On top of that, recording myself singing was stressful my last go around.  I have my Mom look at the footage before using it, and she always criticizes that my face has no expression while singing.  I had to do like five takes before I got something passable, and she still said it didn’t look like I was into my singing.  But, for my past few covers it’s just been a ton of ooing and aahing, and like what sort of emotion or expression are you supposed to put into that?  On top of that, someone I am collaborating with was like “Can you make your video quality better?” and I know that was a vague thing to say they didn’t realize would bother me so much, but it just made all of my recording video insecurities come back to the surface and now I’m back to being paranoid about my quality sucking.  Will that stop me from recording video?  Not at all, but it just shook my confidence a bit and I’m trying to recover from it still.  That along with all of my music insecurities lately, it hasn’t been very pleasant.
that being said, I’ve just been powering through.  Another thing that’s been popping into my head is my piano playing not being good, which isn’t true and also is dumb to think because it’s only been three or four months of playing ugh.  My game plan is to just keep on working towards bettering myself, both musically and with video, because I know that these things will work themselves out.  Did writing them down help?  Sort of!  I do feel a bit more relaxed and less stressed after writing this, so woo~